used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
