I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
