so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
