somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
