you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
