She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
