i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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