this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
