WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
