Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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