We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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