hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize