We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
