He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
