I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
