i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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