do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize