Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
