Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
