garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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