Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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