youre lurking in front of me
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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