Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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