Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
