how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
