Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
