Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
