The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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