You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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