"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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