Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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