I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
