i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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