Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
