Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
