Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize