Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
