i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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