On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
