He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I believe in your delicious
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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