You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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