ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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