my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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