im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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