already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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