college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
