I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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