They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
