This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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