So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
