seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
