Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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