omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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