do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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