I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
