One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You don't make any sense
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