Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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