I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize