its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
