well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
