Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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