i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
