hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
