While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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