But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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