The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize