That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
