You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
