My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
