Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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