We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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