so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize