I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How external is "for external use only"?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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