Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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