So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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