Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
