i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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