Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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