Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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